Part I
Every great dream begins with a
dreamer.
Always
remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to
reach for the stars to change the world…
It
is not the strongest of the species that survives,
Nor the most intelligent
that survives.
It is the one that is the
most adaptable to change…
Charles
Darwin
One
Was life fair? Not in the
least. Not when you worked your ass off for everything you’ve ever dreamed of
and poof, in an instant, with one
sentence…it was gone!
Life doesn’t always work out the way we
want. No matter what you’ve done or how you’ve done it, something without a
doubt gets in the way. You could spend days, weeks, months, even years working
for the things you want out of life, only for it to be taken from you as if
your dreams and schemes never existed. As if you had never tried at all…
It’s funny how life seems to work out the
opposite of what we want. Why bother to dream at all if they never come to
fruition? But, if we don’t have our
dreams and goals to motivate and guide us, where would we be in this world? Lost,
stumbling aimlessly, and not driven by desire, blood, sweat, and tears!
We’ve all heard the phrase, “Life isn’t fair,” so why are we so
defeated when things don’t turn out our way? When everything seems to fall
apart? Shouldn’t we just keep trying? “If
you fall down, get back up, dust yourself off, and try again.”
But what if…just to be fair in this unfair world…what if we weren’t meant to
have those dreams at all? What if they were only to teach us something we
didn’t see in ourselves? What if there was something better than our dreams
waiting for us on the path of life?
Two
Ever since Alexis Finley
had been a young girl, she’d dreamed of becoming an astronaut. She’d wanted to
explore the universe—do something meaningful with her life. She was mere inches
from making her dreams come true. The grueling hours she’d spent at work; she’d
practically lived there. All for this one unexpected moment in her life that
destroyed everything. It was so unfair!
Time seemed to stand still in her heart. The
seconds ticked away as she sat in the expensive brown leather chair, staring
speechless at the woman in front of her. Suddenly, life as she’d known it came
to a screeching halt!
It didn’t matter how many times she
blinked, she was still sitting in the same chair in front of the same doctor
she had known for years. They’d taken a class together in college, for heaven
sakes.
Alexis tried to let the words spoken to her
sink in, but it just wasn’t registering completely. She prayed a silent prayer deep
inside herself that perhaps she had heard it all wrong. By chance, the test
results were someone else’s, not hers. Doctors were known to make mistakes, sometimes
picking up the wrong report or reading the wrong patient’s file. Had the lab
made an error? That happened sometimes, too, a false positive. So why couldn’t
this one time be just that?
Alexis would get a second opinion, that’s
what she’d do! She’d say, “Thank you,” and get up and walk out the door. Yet,
she couldn’t move, her body numb and her mind in denial from what the doctor
had just said.
“Alexis, we have to start treatment immediately.
It’s extremely important before your condition gets worse. Time and early
discovery is your ally, but we won’t know about that until after the biopsy,” said
Dr. Sarah Ramsey.
“Are you sure it’s breast cancer?” Alexis
asked anxiously. Her mind was whirling. This made no sense at all! She’d been
checking herself off-and-on for years, and she’d never found a single lump, not
even suspected one. Had she examined herself wrong? Maybe she didn’t realize
something might have been a lump; maybe she’d thought it was something else,
but never cancer!
Alexis had turned forty just last month,
and now she’d have to have a mammogram every year for the rest of her life. “My life,” her mind repeated. How much
time did she really have left? Panic was starting to set in.
“Yes, Alexis, I’m sure. I’ve checked your
mammogram films and the ultrasound several times. I’m sorry, but the density of
the images shows you definitely have breast cancer. There’s no mistake,” Sarah
Ramsey stated firmly, yet warmly.
“I guess…” Alexis’s throat tightened and
she swallowed. “This being my first mammogram and the additional ultrasound was
just…just an initial precaution, ya’ know? ‘Cause it was my first…” she
stammered. “I thought you wanted to see me about the results in-person as a
courtesy and a baseline test for the future? It didn’t occur to me that anything
was wrong.” The room was suddenly too warm, much too warm for her liking. Sweat
rolled down the back of her neck, wetting the collar of her blouse. She twisted
her long, wavy, brunette hair and clipped it into place on the back of her head,
hoping it would cool her down.
“I wish I was wrong, Alexis, I truly do,
but I’m afraid the results show you have
cancer. I’ll call Dr. Brownski, an Oncology Surgeon at the Anderson Cancer Center
in Orlando, to schedule a lumpectomy and a biopsy. He’s one of the best,
Alexis. We’ll go from there,” Sarah Ramsey offered with an encouraging smile.
“Is there any other alternative?”
“I’m not sure what you’re asking, Alexis,” Dr.
Ramsey frowned. “Until we have the biopsy—”
“Is there an option for a full double
mastectomy?” Alexis interrupted. She watched as the doctor’s right eyebrow shot
up. She had caught her off-guard, maybe even surprising her.
“Well, I wouldn’t suggest a mastectomy
until after we have the results of the biopsy from the lumpectomy. I’m not even
sure why you’d consider such evasive, extensive surgery without knowing what
we’re up against. Most women don’t want their breasts removed because it takes
away from their need to feel like a woman. As you know, a
double mastectomy is done to remove both breasts. What I have seen from the
images, the cancer is confined in the right breast. Most doctors won't consider
a double mastectomy unless there is substantial evidence to do so. It’s also a
very dangerous surgery with a long recuperation, therapy, and reconstruction.
”
“You know I work for NASA, right?” Alexis
blurted out.
Dr. Ramsey nodded, placing a lock of her
reddish brown hair behind her right ear. Her intelligent green eyes searched
Alexis’s face as she waited for her to state her point, which the doctor
couldn’t quite grasp at that moment.
“Well, NASA has been considering me for the
next space shuttle launch. If they knew about the cancer, there would be no way
in hell they’d let me go!”
“I see,” Sarah said, as she shifted in her
chair.
“Do you?” Alexis’s voice rose, which caught
the doctor extremely off-guard. “Because I have worked my ass off for this
opportunity!” The anger stage was taking over much sooner than expected, but
Dr. Sarah Ramsey had seen it all before.
“I can’t just sit and watch it pass me by!”
Alexis shouted. She didn’t know where the anger came from. It wasn’t like her
to jump down someone’s throat for no apparent reason. Although there was a
reason, wasn’t there? Her dream was coming to a dead end. Thrown in the trash
to be recycled. Never to be lived.
Dr. Ramsey cleared her throat. “Alexis, I
know it’s a great deal to take in, but this is your health we’re talking about.
I can’t lie to NASA or keep your records confidential from them in this type of
instance. Besides, NASA will have their own doctors check you out before any such
mission. There could even be legal repercussions for both of us by hiding this
diagnosis. I understand being an astronaut is an incredible opportunity for
you, but your health is more important than flying to outer space.”
Alexis grabbed her purse from beside the
chair and stood up. She didn’t want to sit here any longer and listen to this
doctor tell her she couldn’t live her dreams.
“Alexis, wait! Where are you going? We need
to discuss, albeit prematurely, your options and schedule the lumpectomy!”
“I
need some air.” Alexis turned and opened the door, then slammed it shut behind
her. She knew she was being selfish, and that her health was important, but so
was everything else she’d worked so hard to accomplish. Or maybe she was just
in denial about the whole thing. She was only forty years old and had her whole
life in front of her. Why did this have to happen to her? Why and how did she
end up with cancer? She worked out and ate the right foods. All her physical
exams had come back excellent until this one. So, why her, why now?
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